Birthday

Today is my 18th Birthday. Safe to say I'm excited. This weekend, I will be going to Treasure Island with my mom, dad, and aunt. Tonight, they're gonna teach me how to play Blackjack so I don't completely fail and lose a ton of money. Which, knowing my luck, I probably will. But that's alright. This trip isn't to win, It's to get the experience because I now can:)

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          Not everyone is going to like you. You're gonna end up going through life disappointing a countless number of people. The reality is, what you give is what you get in return.
          If you're an asshole to someone, chances are they're going to be one back to you. Maybe even worse. Nothing is more irritating then people who can be just so nasty, so cruel to everyone- then expect everyone they've bullied to be nice to them. You can't treat someone like crap then expect them to love you. That's what people have yet to figure out in this school.

Letting Go

          Sometimes you have to let people go because they are toxic to you. Let them go because all they do is take and take, leaving you empty. Let them go because in the ocean of life when all you're trying to do is stay afloat, they're the anchor thats drowning you. Let today be that day.
          We've all heard the saying "If you want to fly, drop the sh*t that weighs you down." This is an ongoing process that takes time, and it could be actually very painful. But all you have to remember is that you're not alone. Have you ever looked around the room and wondered what other people's lives are like? I guarantee the prettiest, most popular girl is going through a hard breakup. And I bet the guy in the back of the room with headphones in is afraid to go home because he doesn't get along with his parents. And maybe the girl with her head down on the desk got in a fight with her best friend last night. And I bet the nerdy girl in the front row wishes she had a best friend. Theres always someone you can relate to. Don't punish yourself because you're having a bad day. After every bad day, there's a good day just around the corner. All you need to do is survive until that good day. Then, all this suffering will seem worth it. I promise.

Beauty

          Nothing makes me more upset then seeing stuff like this. OF COURSE YOU CAN BE PRETTY WITHOUT BEING SKINNY. Beauty is not skin deep. Beauty is how you perceive yourself. Beauty is being helpful, caring, passionate, sweet, determined, and so much more. Not just if your a size 2 and a size 32D with straight hair and perfect makeup. You don't have to get up at 5:00 in the morning to impress people at school. Here's the thing, no one cares. No one cares if you wear sweatpants and a crew neck, no one is going to look at you and be like "Ew, she's wearing sweatpants." You don't need to impress anyone. If a guy doesn't like you because you don't get up and put makeup on everyday, then truth-be-told, he's not the one for you. Think about it, lets say you get married. Do you really want to get up every Sunday morning and put makeup on? No. Didn't think so. You need to be able to be yourself, to live your life without always being concerned if someone is judging you. So, put down that apple if you want that piece of cake. Chances are, everyone else wants a slice of that cake too.

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

          Most people would agree with me if I said "Your friends are the people you hang out with". But, I found out that's not always true. You can hang out with someone every single day, and they still won't be there to back you up when times are tough. In my opinion, the meaning of life is to be happy and successful. But also, it's to form relationships. Friends are supposed to be there to talk to about anything and everything, right? Then how come you can be "best friends" with someone, and they won't even lend you an ear when you're crying yourself to sleep one night? It makes no sense at first. Then, after a long time thinking about it, I came to a conclusion. It's not me. It's not my fault that this person won't listen to me; won't act like a true friend. It's them. They aren't the right friend for me. I realized it's time to move on and find new people who will listen, and give me some advice on how to make myself get through the tough times. I may not find that this year, or even my freshman year in college. But I will find it. I won't quit until I do.

All Alone

Ever had so much on your mind but no one to talk to? Feeling all alone, like no ones there even though you're surrounded by people. That's how I have been feeling.
I'm the one whose always there for people. The person whose always there to lend an ear to; to give advice whenever you're feeling stuck. I'm basically the 'Mom' for every single one of my friends. But, where are they when I need them? When I tell them I'm feeling overwhelmed, or sad, or anything... everyone seems to be too busy. Even though I take time out of my day to help out them.
This has got to change. I am so sick of putting up with and getting stressed about issues that don't even involve me. I'm sick of being the ONLY person people go through. I'm so sick of getting walked all over because of my kind nature. My mother always told me, "never let someone take advantage of you. never expect anything because it just leads to disappointments." which, now I see is totally true. I have been expecting something out of my "friends" and all I've been is disappointed.


maybe it's time to look for some new friends.

Summer

          I absolutely can not wait until summer break. I usually say this, but I'm going to make this one the best yet. My friends and I have started a "Summer Bucket List" and the list is growing each day. Right now we have cliff jumping, outdoor concert, and tubing down a river. We need to make this summer the best ever because they're leaving me in August. Alicia's going to Kansas State University and Morgan's going into the service. I'm staying home to do generals at Inver Hills, so they'll be far away and I'll still be here. I can't wait for sun-kissed skin and long summer nights. I'm not a fan of winter, or getting up early for school. I think most of us here at Simley are ready for a break from each other. I hope all of this years seniors are planning on a great summer. Hopefully we'll all be spending our last summer before college together. We may never see each other again (for some, that may be a good thing...) so we need to make this last. No drama, carefree, and hopefully a ton of fun ahead of this years seniors. This is when our lives are beginning, why waste it away?